Emotions – spelt in very few words but with long-lasting effects in our lives. They wreck many lives and enrich many too. Emotions are what make us human, and they have been placed in our lives by God. They are there to express excitement, interest, caution, abilities, love, joy and whatever goes on in our inner man.

Man is a tripartite being, meaning that we have a spirit, soul and body. Our emotions happen to be principal components of our souls. Through these emotions, we can express our innermost desires either positively or negatively. Behind every greed, corruption, deceit, betrayal, promiscuity, infidelity, are myriads of emotions running wild. In the same vein, behind acts of kindness, loyalty, faithfulness, love, affection, commitment, generosity, are emotions too. That clearly shows that emotions are neither evil nor good. We need to shape our emotions such that they are expressed in the most excellent way of love.

Many a time, we equate emotions to only feelings. They seem interchangeable indeed but much more, feelings convey the deepest emotions that are deep-seated within us. Feelings give us the chance to express those emotions that are innate within our souls. Now, let us explore those feelings and how we handle them. Quite a great discovery for me indeed: “feelings are not always true” and they do not always give me the full picture of the issues on ground. Only the word of God is true (John 17: 17). The more you focus on emotions, the more disillusioned you get about the situation and blame either yourself, people or systems around you ‘till you get to the point of deep retrospection rather than self-examination.

Without any iota of doubt, wherever I find myself or decide to locate myself, determines my focus which, in due course, creates my feelings (or emotions). Not many of us women would readily admit how insecure, rejected, inferior, lonely, depressed and worthless we feel” about ourselves based on our emotions. It is up to us to discover the whole truth (the word of God) which nullifies facts and emotions in the face: “there is ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong with us”. You belong to Christ now, not to your emotions (1 Corinthians 6: 19).

As spirit beings, the enemy of our souls’ desires that we feel sorry, miserable, ‘busted’ and disgusted about ourselves for him to unleash and enforce his “dirty dozen” on our lives.

Knowing fully well that a woman who does not feel that she is worth a dime can barely pray right, believe with the right basis for a miracle, think right (which is the foundation for any divine, long-lasting change in life), utilise her God-given potentials (not to mention being useful for the purpose of God in blessing other people,) the enemy never gives up on suggesting how useless we are and how we can never amount to a thing in life.

As mundane as these thoughts & feelings seem to be, they are indeed the compass which our lives follow in reaching our expected destination. Intimidating, manipulative and victimising people often leave their victims with this impression – ‘there is obviously something wrong with you for someone else to have taken advantage of you or abused you the way they did,’

How false and untrue can this be when you know you have done nothing wrong to deserve this kind of treatment! I quite agree with the thought that “if anyone does make you feel fearful, inferior or insecure in any way, then you may have given the permission” because the onus is on you to determine your sense of worth based on what God has done and is still doing. Your life was bought with the precious blood of Jesus.

As a daughter of the King, you have a blood-bought right to be an individual who is whole emotionally. You should not allow anyone to make you feel otherwise. You don’t have to entertain every negative emotion because God has not given us the spirit of fear but of power, love and a sound mind” (2 Timothy 1:7).

God desires for us to experience emotional stability. That means that fear, anxiety, worry, guilt, condemnation and sorrow should not be permitted in your life. He has already given you a sound mind, dear sister. You need to confess that verse of scripture repeatedly until you experience a sound mind which is full of joy, peace, purity, kindness, love and praise. He has given you His love which casts out fear – fear of the past, fear of the unknown, physical phobias and inexplicable fears (1John 4:18).

As I muse on all these insights, I have come to a true and honest conclusion (which may not be necessarily logical) which is based on the Word of God that I have charge and control on my feelings, and no one is big or influential enough to load my feelings with the baggage of fear, inferiority, insecurity, rejection, unworthiness and incapability.

We must never forget that such thoughts lie and do not speak the truth. Emotions might be indications of something amiss that needs to be fixed immediately but they are not meant to control your life, you are sleeping and waking. It was for freedom (even from emotional instability) that Christ set us free, so do not be entangled again with the yoke of emotional bondage (Galatians 5:1).

Experiencing emotional stability starts with making a choice to be free from negative emotions. Choose not to be led based on how you “feel”, what you “feel” or how your environment “feels” but by the word of God which cannot pass away (Matthew 24:25). Confess the verses of scriptures on the love of God and soundness of mind, and experience emotional freedom and stability. God bless you.

Olanike Adebayo

Freelance Writer & Author